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The Shooter Remembers His Life at the FUW House

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I am writing this with all appropriate knowledge and forethought that is necessary for this completed task. The following list of memories are fact as far as I am concerned, and may be presented as such.

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Tank You, The Shooter Carlson Mann

-THE DOUBLE BUBBLE

The double bubble bong was purchased with high regard and recommendation by Honky Tonk Rob. The bong was used on a regular basis by any and all who entered the house on College. On holidays this (Showplace Bong) water was dyed to match the color of the holiday. These dyes in this bong contributed to the colorful array of designs on the carpet in the dinning room. This bong was large and was difficult to clear. I, having higher standards could not help but be disappointed by those who could not clear it. This Bong was a dream that was realized for all too short of a moment that will always be missed.

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-ACCESSORIES

If you come home from work and your hands ache from working over a grill for six hours after you have gone to school for eight previous hours you have little patients. I as a working man would have steal toed boots and it would take everything I have not to kick those stoned mo-fo's in the face. The stoned would be circled up puffing away excited by the entrance of Carlson. Did Carlson appreciate this recognition? When there was new and exciting accessories to smoke with he did!

-The gas mask, a great tool used to maximize the cannabis purchased by concentrating all of the smoke on the face.

-The globe nebullizer, a pot tool ideal for those of us who ever lived in a dorm room. This tool heated up the reefer to a certain temperature and released the THC without burning the actual leaf of the pot, a smokeless high.

-The Drunken Hey Suees, this man deserves his own section and subsection for this list. Bob would create and recreate accessories that were above a beyond. The baby doll bong, the Barbie Doll bong, the Fun-Noodle bong. These magical items were used mostly for novelty purposes. That however does not take away from any of the 'wood shop dream' of making anything into a bong. Hey Suees didn't bind himself to reality he his "Twelve steps" beyond it.

-OPOSSUM

One magical night Michael Carlson, Johnny Vengeance, and Stu all were laying on their backs starring at the stars on the newly made FUW 2.0 ring. They were all starring up into the sky pondering the secrets of the universe and how Scar got into FUW. The soon heard a rattle up in one of the trees. Now what could this be? It must be a squirrel right? No, it happened to be a OPOSSUM starring directing into our eyes. It must have been trying to steel our souls. This animal is a marsupial and is the only one living here in North America. It has no business living here. Those freaky little bastards are everywhere and will continue to be unless we do something right now.

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-CAT

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Lets start out by saying that I am not a cat person. Jacquie and Stu said that we would soon get a cat the was being put up for adoption. It was adoption or death for the cat. Of coarse I was willing to take this little cat in. It had feline leukemia.

Feline leukemia virus (FeLV), a retrovirus, so named because of the way it behaves within infected cells. All retroviruses, including feline immunodeficiency virus (FIV) and human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), produce an enzyme, reverse transcriptase, which permits them to insert copies of their own genetic material into that of the cells they have infected. Although related, FeLV and FIV differ in many ways, including their shape: FeLV is more circular while FIV is elongated. The two viruses are also quite different genetically, and their protein consituents are dissimlar in size and composition. Although many of the diseases caused by FeLV and FIV are similar, the specific ways in which they are caused differs.

Transmission can also take place from an infected mother cat to her kittens, either before they are born or while they are nursing. FeLV doesn't survive long outside a cat's body—probably less than a few hours under normal household conditions.

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This cat was beyond cats. It did not live for itself it lived for us, to be loved and to nurture us. It was all black and enjoyed climbing and clawing the couch. One day I arrived home after works to discover that yes I needed to take yet another shower because I was gross and worked at Steak N' Shake. So I find my towel and basketball shorts and I go to look for my underpants. There is a time in all men's lives that they fly away from the nest and stop using tighty-whitey underwear. That time had ended for me when I opened up that drawer. Within ten seconds of opening the drawer I went from thinking that Aliens were in my underpants-to-my god the cat is injured-to-my god the cat has babies all over my underwear. I have no underwear. I have no underwear?! Most Men go for more material step from tighty-whitey to boxers. I went the other way. I went for less material

Over the next few weeks we enjoyed playing with and moving the cats to different forts all over the house. The cat was not having it. Once given the opportunity the cat would move the kittens back to my underwear drawer. So we eventually just let the cat live in Brett and Michael's room. Soon the honeymoon was over and these cats had FeLV. We neither has the cash flow nor the time to deal with one let alone multiple cats. The decision was made by Jacquie to take the cats to the vet and end them all. The mother had this disease and there was great chance that all of the kittens had it too. I think the rationale was that we should take care of all of them because just ending the kittens would be too traumatic for the cat. The previous owners of the cat had enough trouble getting rid of one cat with this disease. We had many. Once it was done and taken care of I mentioned that I felt like a Nazi, I felt like Josef Mengele. I did not take them to the vet Jacquie did she is the one that had to man-up and deal with this situation.

-FURNITURE

I really enjoyed being in my first apartment/house. One of the personal highlights for me was finding the place that the house chose for our furniture to go. I like moving and removing furniture from different portions of the house. It took until the beginning of August 1999 for me to find the best place for the couch and TV. It was a wonderful place to play house.

Love You More,

The Shooter Carlson Mann

FUW Wrestling Est. 1998
thisisdre@gmail.com

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